He Who Was Blind (S1 E7)

My mind was less occupied with the bleeding and more concerned about GiGi and Bop being gone and how successful Dr. Edmonds would be at performing a c-sections blind. Luckily, the nurse came in, Nurse Bonnie, she turned my thoughts away from that quickly when I saw what she was wearing. Nurse Bonnie was legit. She was wearing running shoes and a proper fanny-pack. I immediately felt warmth and safety. I knew she had everything needed to keep me safe and if she happened to not have it she could run and grab it quickly. I spent the day challenging this theory. Every time she came in I would ask if she had an item I didn't need but wanted to know if it was available. "Bonnie, do you have a piece of gum by chance? Tweezers? Scissors? Nail Clippers? A Hair Tie? Extra pair of socks? Fruit Snacks? Floss? Tape ?...Pokemon card?" Bonnie had everything. We only got into one fight. She didn't know the fight existed it was more in my head and heart. You see, Dr. Edmonds was pretty laid back about most everything and really did his best to make things comfortable there was on exception- The IV. It was no getting around not having one. When asked why he had a look of a war veteran and said he had seen things no one should have to see. I always acted like I didn't know that's how he felt so nurses would ask him regularly if the IV could be taken out. I let them ask even though I knew what he would say in hopes he would get sick of the question and just give-up but that never happened. One weekend the on call doctor allowed the IV to come out, not knowing how Edmunds felt,  so I would just hide my hand with a pillow when Dr. Edmonds would come in. I was free from it for about 3 days until Bonnie came on scene. Apparently she had seen things as well. She asked where my IV was and I told her I didn't have one in because my doctor didn't like to see me in misery and pain. Unfortunately, Dr. Edmunds came in real quick one more time before his surgery to check in and that's when she tattled on me. I was mad at her for hours about this yet I had to let it go because of the treasures she had in her fanny pack, just remarkable.

I had a pattern by this time. I would have a scare, my body would stop bleeding, I would be monitored, baby girl would look awesome, and then I would be returned upstairs. I was relieved the pattern stayed the same for this episode. The nurses sent Dr. Edmunds a message in braille that I was back upstairs so he could recover and didn't need to deliver with lasered eyes.  That was a comfort to us all.

This next week I got to 32 weeks with baby girl still growing healthy and strong. I was surprised how much joy this brought me. I felt happier about this then any thing else. The staff here only helped the celebration when they brought in beautiful flowers, cookies and cake to celebrate hitting that milestone because the staff at St. Marks really is incredible. They didn't stop there either. My bed was upgraded as well. Originally the new bed brought up was the wrong one, which was a bariatric bed which weight limit started at 250lbs. This was a small hit to my confidence at first. I knew I had gained weight but I didn't feel it was quite necessary to bring that bad boy in. There was a bar to pull yourself up when getting out of bed when Titus say that he exclaimed, "WHAT?! Your bed has a swing?" He loved it. Eventually, a new bed was brought up again which was the fanciest I have ever got to sleep in. The bed had a built in massager, music that filled the air and a translator in case I wanted to say "May I have a cookie? in french, "puis-je avoir un cookie?"

This special Tuesday, I also got a massage and was introduced to Reiki. Healing by energy. I wasn't so sure about Reiki but the sweet lady looked just like, Cheri, a second mom to me growing up so I had to say yes. She said I needed to clear my mind which I laughed at but it wasn't a joke. She said she would use energy to heal areas in my body that needed work. I can not tell you how long she spent over my head before she gave up. I was getting stressed because I was trying to think of nothing but that never works. Growing up with my friends Valayne, Brandy and Joni we once tried a rain dance for Arizona's draught. It wasn't weird or anything because we were really young, like 17. Valayne didn't appreciate when Brandy and I would laugh so she told us to calm our minds. I tried lots of things to quiet my mind and found if I pictured long grass blowing in a soft breeze with beautiful blue mountains in the background I could stay relaxed for a moment. It would only last for a minute before something like a turtle drinking a mountain dew and clog dancer would come in and join the scene. It really did rain that night.  I tried this old technique with Reiki but Cheri look alike just asked if I had any issues from my past I should address with someone. I said I did not but I would sure love a mountain dew.

Dr. Edmunds and the A-Team he worked with, this is a name they picked for themselves, I told them it was taken and there was even a movie about it but they disagreed, my portion size of eggs mysteriously went down for the next week- suggested we pick a date to deliver baby girl. All of a sudden this became very real to me. I was terrified because I knew I would be having a c-section. Oddly enough, pushing a life out of my womanhood sounded much less horrific than being sliced opened for the delivery. I knew I needed to come up with a third option. I was given the option of February 2 or February 4th. My sweet mother really wanted to call the baby Tuesday even after much conversation with her that Tuesday didn't feel right she insisted it would be great. So making this decision for either Tuesday or Thursday was simple, and with that we were scheduled for Thursday.

As soon as we scheduled the weeks wild events began. I had a few episodes that were very mild but confirmed the early delivery date. The next bleed I had was much bigger. I called my nurse to come in and save me. She looked at the trail of blood and asked me what I would like to do? I said, "Actually I am so glad you asked because I have been craving some crab from Ruth's Steakhouse..." She then left to go inquire about that. Another nurse came in much more energized due to the scene. She demanded I get on my new massaging bed even after me explaining a wheel chair should suffice. After losing that discussion, she attempted to drive the bed to the first floor. Marcy, the demanding bed-driving nurse, had never worked with this bed and it didn't roll as smoothly as she expected. I knew she had little experience with the bed when she rammed the bed with me on it into the wall straight ahead. I use the word rammed because the definition is to crash violently against something and that describes this incident perfectly. Marcy then rammed me into the door, rammed me into other walls, the elevator, the front desk and then the entrance to my room number 11, multiple times. I asked her if I could please have a seat belt or possibly a helmet but also said she was doing a great job because I saw how she drove while she liked me. Who knew what she was capable of she didn't like me. I was already bleeding so what was a few bruises? They put me in room 12. I notified everyone immediately that this would not do and I threw a massive tantrum until they gave me my room back. Someone was in it delivering a baby. I said I bet that baby wasn't even hers for sure but they thought that was rude of me so they made me stay in room 12.

After repeating the same pattern I was allowed back upstairs. Someone else drove the bed this time which was a relief. The end of the week threw something new at me when I started having contraction. Edmund thought it was best to go back downstairs and get monitored again which was a wise decision because the contractions got pretty rough and were every 3-5 minutes. I thought the only positive of having a c-section was not going through the contractions. I didn't miss out on a thing with this pregnancy! Finally after over 5 hours of this the contractions stopped with extra hydration. Dr. Edmunds came in with his guide-dog so he didn't run in to anything and made sure I got back up-stairs because the view was much more beautiful though he couldn't yet enjoy the view.

A few days passed when I heard the great news. Dr. Edmunds delivered someone else's baby and he could see just fine. He even performed some type of activity in which case he cut someone I am pretty certain it was for medical reasons. Either way he who was blind could see again and cut things. Just in time because when Sunday came around, I took my favorite Sunday nap and I had a dream. I dreamt I bled again and we had to deliver baby girl. I woke up and made sure Dr. Edmunds knew and also got a nap in so he was ready since I was a visionary woman. That night I woke up every 45 minutes sure I was going to have an episode. Nothing happened until 7 am. I had my 10th bleed just like in my dream! I know, amazing! I was back but this time Dr. Edmunds and Dr. Ball decided a ultra-sound would be a good idea. After the did the ultra-sound Dr. Ball threw a curve ball....that's the best I could come up with...a curve ball because his last name is ball.......He strongly suggested we change plans. That's when Dr. Edmunds told me to call Ben because we were going to deliver baby girl in one hour.